Appointments, Appointments, Appointments

Today is Wednesday, June 14, 2023. The only day this week that I don’t have a single appointment to go to…and what a relief that has been! I already gave you a breakdown of what happened on Sunday in terms of all the follow-ups and appointments that day…so let’s dive straight into Monday.

But before we talk about Monday, I feel the need to emphasize two important current aspects in my life. Not to sound like a constant complainer, but merely to paint you a clearer picture, I have to remind you that there has been a constant lack of sufficient, quality sleep in my life lately due to the medications I’m on. This nightly recurrence only adds to my fatigue and exhaustion day after day after day. This ends up making everything I do the following day more difficult as my energy levels keep diminishing. It’s around every fourth or fifth night that my body realizes it needs to catch up on it’s rest and I actually end up getting a good 4 or 5-hour stretch of solid sleep. They do say that a good night’s sleep is the best medicine…I could definitely use more of that these days. The other thing I wanted to mention is my current emotional and mental state. As you can imagine, A LOT has been happening, is currently happening and will continue to happen. Emotionally and mentally I have been overwhelmed with everything. Not to say that it’s all negative…there have actually been a lot of positive feelings and I’m so grateful for those moments. But overall, it just feels like I’ve been on this emotional rollercoaster, filled with tight turns, steep slopes, with a few inversions here and there and I find myself extremely overwhelmed. I’m hoping this ride slows down a little and I can catch my breath for a bit…

Speaking of emotional and mental wellbeing…let’s talk about Monday’s appointment. I had previously mentioned that I had requested to see the psychiatry department during my hospital stay and that the team had visited me a few times. Monday was my follow-up OPD appointment. To be completely honest, over the course of the past 4 weeks that they’ve been seeing me, they have now diagnosed me with moderate-to-severe depression and their recommendation is for me to start on anti-depressants. And understandably so. The past 8 months have not been easy on me…So while I do not disagree with their diagnosis, I do feel like I’m not ready to be on any anti-depressants at the moment. I’m going through a lot on a physical level with all my current medications and I don’t want to overwhelm myself with more medication right now. I also just want to pursue talk-therapy for the time being to help during these challenging times. I actually started seeing a psychotherapist & life coach through zoom during the middle of week 3 of my hospital stay. I have been having weekly sessions with her since then and I’m so so so grateful to have started this therapy with her. I have to say a big ‘Thank You’ goes to a very dear friend of mine who reached out and connected me with this amazing therapist. I’m blessed to have the support around me that’s helping me in different ways to cope with everything. الحمد لله.

On Tuesday I had my physical therapy session at Amiri Hospital from 11:00 – 12:00. I felt good and ready for it and I really pushed through to do as much as my therapist wanted me to do. Ending the session and having completed all the exercises I needed to do for the day felt amazing. I do have to take a moment here and give credit where credit is due. From the first day I met my physical therapist, I knew Allah was watching over me and blessed me with having her enter my life. She has been unbelievable in her work with me towards my recovery and I’m extra lucky to have gained a friend in the process. Speaking of friends…my amazing SLP passed by during my physical therapy session to say hello and check on me since leaving the hospital. They have been so supportive and encouraging and uplifting during and after my hospital stay and I’m so appreciative of everything they have done for me. Seeing them on Tuesday, though briefly, really cheered me up. After going home, having a quick lunch, then resting for a bit, I had my zoom session with my therapist at 3:00. I truly believe that as important as my medication and my physical rehabilitation are, my mental wellbeing is just as crucial for my recovery. I had always been resistant to therapy in my life in the past. Maybe I never felt I needed it or I thought it wouldn’t benefit me…but now I know it’s something that everybody could benefit from, no matter what may be happening (or not happening) in their lives.

This brings us to Wednesday…today…the only no-appointments day this week. Honestly, I needed a break and I’m happy I could to spend the day at home just catching up on my rest, socializing with some family members that passed by and just having a little time for me. Everybody needs a little me time. So, enough reading about Lulu and please go spend a little me time for yourself!

لا اله الا الله الذي بيده مفاتيح الفرج, يا فرجنا اذا انقطعت الأسباب ويارجاءنا اذا غلقت الأبواب.